"Takin' Twenty" with the Virginian Brethren by Skip Salmon

[NW Mailing List]

Last night I had the pleasure of "Takin Twenty" with four of the Brethren
and it was agreed that I would post for you the following poem I read at
the Roanoke Chapter NRHS Christmas Party last Thursday. It was written in
1823 by Clement Clarke Moore and edited by Mike Snider and yours truly:

The Night Before Christmas 2012

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the big house,
Not a creature was stirrin', not even Ken Miller's computer mouse;
The stocking were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that Old St. Nicholas would soon be there.

The children were wallerin' all around in their bed
Lewis Foster had video games flashing in his head;
And Judi was in her kerchief, and I in my Virginian cap,
Were tryin' to settle down, before we took ourselves a nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
I headed for the window just as hard as I could go,
And tripped over a box of T-shirts, and stumped my big toe.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave a luster of ditch lights to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and NINE tiny reindeer.

With a little old driver, who made me say: "SHAZAM!
That guy looks a whole lot like Eddie Mooneyham!"
More rapid that AMTRAK his coursers they came,
And he screamed and hollered and called them some names:

"Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On Cupid! Get away from Donder, Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
Get out of that man's shrubs, or I'm gonna shoot ya 'll"

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney he came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were covered up with ashes and soot.
Reminded me of the steam days, and with what I've seen,
He coulda been a former Fireman, on the twelve eighteen!

He had a great big bundle of toys flung over his back,
I could tell where he got um, I saw "WalMart on the sack.
His eyes how they twinkled! His dimples were happy, happy, happy.
He said "Where in the cat hair did ya ll get that Jim Cosby?"

Adding "What your're doing at the Station is fine,
I really enjoy readin' you all's "Turntable Times".
Thanks for the Candy Cane Express aplenty,
I get a kick outa readin' that "Takin' Twenty".

His droll little mouth was drawn up in a pucker,
For a minute, I thought he might be Dorr Tucker.
He had a kind face, and in his chin, there's a cleft,
Kinda reminded me of a fellow we ALL call Jeff.

He was a big guy, I guess you could mention,
He favors someone we all know, Carl Jensen.
With a wink of his eye and a little twist of his big head,
He said "I ain't got nothing for you Landon, go back to bed".

He spoke not another word, did not hesitate, but went straight to his work,
Filled Bill and Gary's stockings with journal box pads, and turned with a
jerk,
And laying his finger inside of his nose,
And giving a little twist, up the chimney he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team he gave a big hoot,
He blew out his false teeth and they landed on his boot.
But I heard him loudly grumble, ere he drove his team out of sight,
Pull over at the 7-11 Rudolph, fer some Poly-Grip, and it'll be all right!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2013

Skip Salmon

CDLII
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